How not to do it yourself

A few weeks back we changed the lock on the back house, a good thing because the lock that was on the external door was not exactly secure. It was what is termed a vanity lock, one key fits all. So anyone could have gone to the hardware store bought a matching lock or spare key and opened the door. One key fits all.

So we changed it. However the only way the new lock including handle would fit was upside down. Not ideal, but at least the lock was secure.

With time on our hands and it being too hot to do much, we decided that correcting the upside down door handles and lock would be a good idea. At the same time we though it worthwhile getting someone to come and look at our fridge door, it seemed not to seal properly.

So we got back home with new lock fittings and an appointment one hour later for some guys to look at the fridge door.  Ashley started to dismantle the lock on the back house door.  All was going well. Famous last words: Ashley decided to show Hilary a problem with what happens when the lock mechanism is inverted so the handles will be the right way round. Hilary could not see the problem, Hilary has spatial issues. So Ashley decided to demonstrate by closing the door. Bad move.

With the mechanism inverted and loose we could not refit the handle. Hence we could not open the door. So we were stuck inside the back house. Credit cards, screwdrivers, all manner of things were tried. All failed.

And in half an hour we had people booked to look at the fridge door.

Not good.

Ashley removed the iron window bars and got out. It really was the only way out. We should at some point replace those screws so the bars cannot be so easily removed but right now we are not complaining.

There is however a certain irony about having to break out of ones own home.

It got us out of the back house in time to meet the guys booked to sort out the fridge door. Fortunately the fridge in question is in the front house. They came looked at the fridge door, pronounced that it was not the door seals but that the door hinge had dropped. So they took the doors off, used some washers to raise the door, refitted everything and all is now working properly. Callout, work and stuff was 40 lira, just over a tenner UK.

Meanwhile Ashley was still busy attacking the door to the back house trying to get it open. And failing.

So we called a friend, who sent a locksmith. He arrived within half an hour. Initially he tried everything Ashley had tried, and like Ashley he failed. Ashley was watching, thinking, I tried that, but it is always better to say nothing, it would never have been believed.

Anyway, after half an hour or so, he got it open.

He then insisted on dismantling the lock mechanism, inverting parts, and reassembling, something Ashley is perfectly capable of doing. Ashley is not sure whether this is locksmith professionalism or “you stupid foreigner”. Either way, after another half hour everything was fitted, no longer upside down and working perfectly. The cost? 30 Lira. Cannot complain, and maybe there is sense in letting someone else do the work in the first place.

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4 responses to “How not to do it yourself

  1. . . I’m with Ashley on this – I’m lucky enough to have a fully-fitted out workshop so fiddling about with stuff is not only fun but mostly doable. That said, the door lock to the workshop works arse-about-face but as it’s welded in place it stays like it. After 17 years I still unlock it the wrong way and end up stubbing a toe or head-butting the damned thing!

    • I do not have a fully fitted workshop (I wish) but I did bring out all my power tools. I need to get a new chuck for the drill so I can switch between regular and SDS stuff. And wow, I even found a place here that sells Dremel parts.

  2. We can only get into our workshop with a special wrist action twist and pressure with left hip just as the key is turning. We’ve put up with it for 20 years so I suppose it won’t get fixed.

  3. If it works don’t fix it. When it stops working there is always the lump hammer solution.

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